From the pages of IAMO.

U.N. Me

Posted by Frank J.

The U.N. needs some work, including an image change. In the spirit of helpfulness, I came up with some brand new slogans for the U.N. (do they even have one now). Here they are:

PROPOSED SLOGANS FOR THE U.N.

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* If a corrupt, bloated bureaucracy can't solve it, then it's best left festering.

* Genocidal dictators, beware our harshly worded letters.

* Having discussed at length almost every major crisis in the past 60 years.

* If our baby-blue helmets don't scream seriousness, then are non-binding resolutions do.

* Chosen by 4 out of 5 oppressed peoples for peacekeeping over Sprite in a blind taste test.

* The U.N. - U.N.fair, U.N.balanced, U.N.medicated.

* Try our world famous cheesy fries.

* Defeating evil... as long as the cowardly French and the evil Chinese Commies don't use their veto power.

* Pointless squabbling brought to an art form.

* Check with our job opportunities center for great benefits and embezzlement opportunities.

* If troubles abound, we'll be nearby doing nothing.

* You can't spell "unethical" without U.N.

* Honest; those people were raped before we got here.

* If you don't like us, our 156-4 vote says it’s the fault of Israel.

* Ignoring the irony of cronies of pissant dictatorships voting in a democratic fashion for 60 years.

* If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial America.